Brain Damage (starring Bill Cosby and God)

Bill Cosby HimselfIf you tell somebody not to do something, and then they do it anyway, and then you ask them why, and they say “I don’t know,” that’s brain damage.

Let me give you an example.

GOD: Don’t.

BILL COSBY: Don’t what?

GOD: Rape the women.

BILL COSBY: Well, where are they?

GOD: They’re over there. But don’t rape them.

And then God steps out of the room for a moment. We don’t know where he went. The Bible doesn’t say. But you know how when you turn your back on your kids for just a moment…

So anyway, God turns around, and Bill Cosby’s raping the women, and now God’s wondering why He didn’t just stop after making the elephants.

GOD: Didn’t I just tell you?

BILL COSBY: Uh-huh!

GOD: Well, why did you do it?

BILL COSBY: I don’t know!

Well, that’s brain damage!

Welcome to Wugong Hotel

Dear Guests:

Thanks for choosing Wugong Hotel to stay for your holiday, business and amusement.

The service directions, provided with specified information of available services, will surely make you feel convenient.

Whether you stay one day or one month, you will always feel at home. May your stay full of pleasure and good luck. Wish our service leave you a delightful reminiscence.

Thank you for your coming again.

Hotel lying at fortures. Fortures lying with you.

HOTEL REGULATIONS

3. No guest is allowed to up anyone for the night or let anyone use his/her own bed in the hotel.

4. No birds, domestic animals or other unsnairy articles are allowed to be brought into the hotel.

5. No inflammable, explosive, poisonous, radioactive or other dangerous articles are allowed to be carried into the hotel. Nor is burning articles or letting off fireworks and firecrackers permitted in the hotel.

7. Strictly forbid and illegal and criminal activities such as fighting, gambling, drug taking or prostitution in the hotel. No guest should put up or circulate salacious books, pictures, photos, nor play such recordings or videos. And drinking excessively making great noise or playing recorder loudly in the hotel is forbidden.

WUGONG HOTEL

The Hotel is a two-star hotel, equipped with advanced facilities, such as central control air-conditioner, satellite TV, cable TV, background acoustics, smoke detectors and sprinklers, imported Hitachi elevators, and the amenities for handicapped people. All these superior to those three-star standard.

Excellent service based on the honesty is adored as motto of the Hotel.

Note item: The facilities and equipment in the room should not be damaged, mishandled or lost. No post and paint are allowed on the wall. Otherwise, the reimbursement will be required accordingly.

CENTRAL CONTROL AIR-CONDITIONER:

Equipped with the central air-conditioner system, every room in hotel can adjust the room temperature randomly.


 

This is an excerpt from Who Moved My Rice?

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